Nikki's Diary Early years

Life as young Nikki was NOT always rainbowís and butterflies. And my momís life after I was born wasnít exactly easy. About 6 to 8 months after I was born she the man she believed was ď the oneĒ and boy was she wrong. A couple months after they had met. My little brother was born and shortly after my mom got married. My dad who had been MIA this whole time thought it would be cool to start showing up and making my moms husband very jealous. And slowly things started to get much worse. At the age of 4 I witnessed him pin my mother up against my bedroom door holding a knife to her forehead for NO REASON. Moments later he attacked his own mother with an aluminum baseball bat. Every other day things like this would happen to me, my mom, and my brother. This went on for 2 years. Until finally at the age of 6 when I came home from school crying and told my mom he had been raping me for 6 months.For 2 straight months before I told her she made several attempts to flee with us, but he would always find us. However this was it. My godmother had heard the news and decided to take matters into her own hands. Child services showed up and took me and brother giving my mom the opportunity to slip away.

Shortly after My fatherís parents began to get very upset over what had happened and ended up getting custody of me til the age of 13 . I wouldnít say my childhood with them was bad , but it wouldíve been nice not to be punished for every little thing especially when things were not my fault . Aside from the fact that my mom had visitation with me, they literally did anything in there power to keep my mother away. At the age of 7 my mom came over one afternoon and took me to the fair. It was the first time I had seen her scince me and my brother where taken. So u could imagine how happy was. But little did I know it would also be the last. When I was brought back home that day. All I can remember is running out on the middle of the street crying and yelling to my mom as she drove away. And that was the last time I saw her. For years my dadís parents did everything they could to keep her away. The only person I had contact with from my moms side of the family was my other grandmother. For years my dads mom made me believe that my mom had abandoned me. On my 12th birthday things started to not add up. Completely out of nowhere I received a letter from my mom. Then 2 weeks later she came to visit. A few short months after that she regained custody of me and I went home with her.

Being back home with my mom was AWSOME. But it didnít last long. Once I came out as gay, my whole life changed for the worst. But mainly it was my step dad. Living with a prison guard sucks!!!. Donít get me wrong I love and respect that man like he was own dad now, but back then I LOATHED him. However I didnít make it easy either. I began smoking cigarettes and smoking weed. Leaving home for months on end and coming back.Til finally I had enough. I went to my probation officer and asked to be put in a group home Temporarily. And he made it happen for what was only supposed to be 2 months. The day before my final day. They decided to tell me they wanted to keep me til I was 18. And I told them I would run if they tried. So I did. I a walled with a friend and stole a car a decided to try and run all the back to my dadís mom in hopes that she would save me from all this bs. Sadly the police tried to pull me over, but I wasnít having it. After crashing the vehicle and causing over $6000 in damageís I was put into jail for six months. Two of which I got to spend with my dad :-). Needless to say that was a fun reunion he found out shit about me he never thought was possible.

Tired from all the BS Iíve already told you and you already know on my 17th birthday I decided to move back out again . I didnít have many places to stay but I made it work . One must do things they have to do to survive . One day while I was out with friends. They took me to this gay bar in town called Clinton st. Pub. And I met my very first drag queen. About a week later she had put me in drag for the very first time and I did my first show. I got such a rush I stuck with it. Aside from the fact that I was new and on high demand, I started performing all over. NYC, Syracuse, buffalo, Rochester, Utica, and Albany NY. Being that I was really good at it I rose to power very quickly. However the queens in Albany didnít take that very kindly as they thought I was stepping on certain peopleĎs toes. Rumors begin to fly in the shade became unbearable. Ridiculed and accused of certain things that are no way possible to be true, I decided to step away for a while and put my full focus into my home bar Clinton St pub.

Being that there hadnít been any shows there in a long long time I decided to bring them back with a bang. For a whole year at thrived nothing but pact audience after packed audience after packed audience.But there always comes a time where a bitch just needs a break. I stepped back from my homefront for quite a while and time once we crowned our very first miss Clinton St. And focused and surrounding areas.
After a while I met previous cast member Joshua Bailey. Who it happened to be dating my very first drag daughter at the time. We spent the weekend together as I was in the area on tour after living in Rochester for two years. Joshís first and adduction to me was a prank phone call that my drag daughter put me up to doing. Once we met it was love at first sight on my end. But being the man that I am I couldnít do that to my Drag daughter. Once I went back home me and Josh spoke every day and about three months after that Iíve got a message from him that he was leaving to Florida and I was completely crushed. I continue to do my thing....... and after a while I decided to move back to upstate New York to be around my mother and my family more. I felt like nine years in the business traveling around working my ass off paying my dues I began to miss my family very very much. One night on Christmas Eve after not hearing from Josh for about a month and a half I received a message from him that he was on his way back home and needed to see me. By that point in time I was already in a relationship with someone else. About a month after he returned home I finally decided to make good on the promise and I went to see him. He proceeded to tell me things about the night we met that begin to really get me thinking. About two weeks later Josh and I began dating. But I didnít make it official with him until I left the other. Our relationship as a whole was absolutely amazing. The times I truly cherish the most were us doing shows together.In March of that year we decided to part ways as we moved our relationship far too fast and moved in with each other and his feelings were lost while mine were growing greater. I didnít feel like I could continue to be friends with him considering we were best friends before and I felt like I couldnít put myself through torture with the love I felt for him. About a week after the break up he told me that he was having problems at home and he was moving to Florida. I told him that he canít run from his problems his problems will always be there when he returns. He then proceeded to tell me that the entire nine months he was down here before without me he did nothing but wish that I was here and begged and pleaded for me to come with him. So I did and things begin to get even worse. Before we came things were back to normal and we were the way we once were before all this mess. But Josh began to slowly change in ways I never thought were possible and he began doing things to drive me completely insane. Needless to say he ended up moving to Orlando with his new boyfriend which I am very happy for him at the end of the day no matter what he will always be my best friend. However since our best friend Pacifica Rim passed away and I procured some things for him I have been completely shut out from his life. Not sure if itís because of him or his controlling boyfriend but when the time comes I still have love for him and I will always be there. Itís sad to say but he definitely put me through a ringer and it kills me because I still feel the same way about him as I did the day We split. A couple weeks after ties were cut completely was when I decided to apply for TGRW and Iím the very person You see before you.